Not long ago, a respected deacon of a church made a remark that lodged itself in my conscience. He was recounting a remark that someone else had made, he said: “Those who speak in ‘we’ and ‘our’ carry a deeper care for people than those who speak in ‘I’ and ‘me.’”
That simple distinction hit differently — because it revealed just how far we have wandered from a collective conscience to isolated pride.
I am speaking of us, the Ao people.
It reminded me how far we — especially as Aos — have wandered from a collective heart to a fragmented pride.
This is not about comparing ourselves with others. This is not an attack. This is a mirror held up to us — lovingly, honestly. And what do we see?
We are a tribe that prides itself in being pioneers — first in faith, first in education, first to establish a printing press, first in missions. Yes, those things are true. But being first is not the same as being faithful. And yes, those are stories worthy of reverence. But are we now simply keepers of old tales? Are we so bound to the glory of yesterday that we have become blind to the decay of today?
Let us not fool ourselves.
We are no longer pioneering anything. If anything, we have become experts at showcasing how not to live in unity.
Of all the things we could have become leaders in — compassion, community growth, mutual upliftment — we have become trailblazers of division, rivalry, and cold-hearted indifference.
Our towns are proof enough. Our towns are growing, yes — but is our love for one another growing with it?
Two brothers from the same household hesitate to support each other, what more can be expected from the wider clan?
A successful Ao businessman returns home, and his greatest challenge is not the market but his own people — whispers behind his back, silent eyes that refuse to acknowledge his contribution unless it benefits the “right” group.
Our young leaders, with courage and vision for change dares to speak, but are either mocked into silence by the weight of tradition or forced to conform to a system that fears change more than failure.
Families are falling apart — not for lack of money or education — but because ego, comparison, and bitterness have eaten away the bonds that once held us together.
Even our churches, once the beacon of hope and unity, are often battlegrounds of egos, where leadership roles have become thrones instead of towels to serve with.
How often have we seen pastors leave not because of moral failure but because of internal politics and toxic committees?
What happened to us?
If we truly want to call ourselves pioneers, then let us redefine what that means today.
Let us be pioneers of forgiveness in families torn by property feuds.
Let us be pioneers of kindness — where one brother celebrates the success of another, even if his own hands are empty.
Let us be pioneers of humility — where we raise others even if it means we remain unseen.
Let us be pioneers of mercy — where church doors open not just for the perfect, but the broken and bruised.
We speak of our forefathers with great pride, and rightly so. But if their courage was to break new ground, why is ours to simply guard old graves?
If being a pioneer is a badge we still choose to wear, then let us act like it.
Let us pioneer new ways of community — ways where “we” is more important than “me.”
Let us pioneer honesty in governance, selflessness in leadership, generosity in success, and integrity in the smallest of decisions.
Enough with the nostalgia.
And if we must hang up the glories of the past, let it be not in shame, but in gratitude — so that our hands are free to build what the next generation needs.
Now, I say this not in anger, nor in despair — but in deep hope.
Because I believe we can still change.
I believe the Ao community can rise again — not just in name, but in spirit, in unity, in love.
And maybe that is why the words of a humble deacon have stayed with me all this while. He said: “Those who speak in ‘we’ and ‘our’ carry a deeper care for people than those who speak only in ‘I’ and ‘me.’”
Maybe that is where we begin —
Not with declarations or meetings, but with the simple shift from ‘me’ to ‘we.’
Because pioneers do not just walk ahead — they carry others with them.
~ Subongtsungba Longkumer