Often, we hear ourselves saying, “The church should have done this” or “The leaders should have done that,” forgetting that we are part of the same family. We sit at the same table, enjoy the fellowship, share in the blessings, and sometimes benefit from the work of others – but when things do not go exactly as we expect, some are tempted to take their complaints to social media, treating the church as if it were a distant institution rather than their own family.
Posting grievances online may feel like venting or seeking justice, but it rarely solves the underlying problem. In fact, it often makes matters worse. Words shared on social media reach people who are not invested in the life of the church. They cannot pray for solutions, serve alongside the church, or help address challenges constructively. Instead, public complaints can sow division, spread misunderstandings, and weaken the trust and respect necessary for a healthy church.
It is important to remember that behind every church structure, committee, or leadership role are people – people with families, responsibilities, and personal struggles. While we may perceive decisions as slow, insufficient, or unfair, most leaders are doing their best with the resources and wisdom available. Public complaints without understanding these factors hurt the leaders and create a culture where cynicism can thrive.
In the Holy Bible, the church is not an institution separate from us – it is made up of people who follow Jesus, and every believer is part of His body. When we point at “the church” or “the pastor” publicly, in some way, our finger points back at ourselves. This may feel uncomfortable at first, but it is good news. It means we are not powerless. We share in the joy, responsibility, and blessing of what God is doing in our fellowship.
It also means that when we speak about “the church,” we are speaking about people we know – friends we worship with, and family with whom we share life. Complaints no longer remain complaints – they can become invitations to contribute, participate, and make a difference. Shifting from seeing the church as “them” to “us” can transform how we interact, support, and invest in our community.
Why This Matters in Everyday Church Life
Disagreements and frustrations are natural in any community. A ministry may struggle, a sermon may challenge us, or a decision in a meeting may go a different direction than expected. Our natural reaction might be to post our frustration online, blaming “them” – the leaders, committees, or the church.
But in God’s design, the church is not a “they”; it’s a “we.” As 1 Corinthians 12 teaches, the church is like a body with many parts, each connected. If one part suffers, all suffer; if one rejoices, all rejoice. When something isn’t going well, it is not just “their” problem – it is a shared concern.
Consider this: if the children’s ministry struggles to find volunteers, it affects the entire church family. If the worship team faces challenges, it impacts the spirit of worship for everyone. If someone in the finance team is overburdened or underappreciated, it can affect the smooth operation of the church. If the maintenance team lacks support, the safety and welcoming atmosphere of the church is affected. Each situation may seem small, but its ripple effects are felt by the entire congregation.
When we see issues as the church’s problem alone, we miss the opportunity to step in and be part of the solution. Sharing frustrations on social media rarely helps – it often magnifies problems and divides the body. Even small complaints, when posted online, can snowball into larger conflicts, sparking debates among people who are not present and leading to hurt feelings, gossip, and blame. By contrast, approaching issues privately – through prayer, discussion with leaders, or constructive feedback – can foster understanding, reconciliation, and real change.
Belonging Means Sharing Responsibility
One of the blessings of being part of a local church is that we get to share in its decisions and direction. Membership is not about status; it is about covenant and accountability. It is a declaration: “This is my church family. I will pray for it, serve in it, give to it, and walk with it in its mission.”
Important decisions – budgets, ministry plans, or leadership appointments – are often made in General Meetings, where members vote. This ensures those guiding the church’s direction are also carrying its responsibilities. Participation in these meetings, no matter how small, is an expression of commitment. It is easy to criticize when we have not been present, listened, or contributed ideas. True engagement means being part of the conversations that shape the life of the church.
Think of it like a household. If a family is deciding how to spend its savings, the people who live there and share the bills naturally have the biggest say. A visiting friend can offer advice, but they do not carry the daily responsibilities. Similarly, membership recognizes that we are actively invested in the life and growth of the church.
If you attend a church regularly but have not become a member, your presence and encouragement still matter. But stepping into membership is like moving from being part of the crowd to being part of the core. With that step comes the joy of shaping the church’s future together. You are no longer a bystander; you are part of the team steering the family.
Membership also strengthens accountability. When members commit to support the church through prayer, service, and giving, they demonstrate a tangible investment in its mission. This shared responsibility fosters unity and prevents a culture of blame that arises when people complain publicly without contributing privately.
The Church Is People, Not a Building
The Greek word for “church,” ekklesia, means “a called-out assembly.” Originally, it referred to citizens gathered for a purpose. For Christians, it means the people called out of darkness into God’s light through Jesus. The church is not a building – it is a spiritual family.
Being part of a church is more than sitting in a pew on Sunday. It is sharing life with a community that worships, learns, serves, and grows together. Like any family, the church functions best when each member is committed, involved, and invested. Families grow stronger when everyone contributes; similarly, the church grows when everyone contributes – not just in words, but in deeds.
The Sunday School teacher invests hours preparing lessons that will shape children’s faith. The intercessor prays faithfully behind the scenes. The flower team ensures that facilities are beautified and welcoming. Musicians, greeters, and volunteers contribute in ways often unseen but deeply significant. When we focus only on the pastor or leadership and post grievances online, we fail to see the many contributions that keep the church alive. Recognizing and participating in these efforts is a key part of responsible church membership.
God’s Purposes for the Church
God did not create the church merely to provide a comfortable place to meet friends or hear a nice message. He created it for a far greater mission. Every act of worship is an opportunity to honor God (Psalm 96:9). We are called to introduce people to Jesus and guide them in following Him (Matthew 28:19–20). The church exists to support growth, encouragement, and accountability (Acts 2:42; Galatians 6:2). Through our words and actions, we demonstrate Christ’s love to those in need (Matthew 25:35–40).
The church is a living witness to God’s love – a place where broken people find healing, learners grow in truth, and believers serve in love. It is not a place to air grievances online, but a place to use our gifts to bless others and glorify God. Every ministry, big or small, contributes to God’s purposes. Public criticism often distracts from this mission rather than advancing it.
The Joy of Playing Our Part
Ephesians 4:16 reminds us that the church grows strong when each part does its work. Every role matters: the greeter who welcomes people, the Sunday School teacher planting seeds of faith, the intercessor praying behind the scenes, the musician leading praise, the one visiting the sick, the one quietly managing finances.
Church life is not a spectator sport. When we all play our part, worship becomes richer, needs are met faster, unity grows stronger, and the presence of Christ is more clearly experienced. Even small acts – a kind word, a prayer, a practical gesture – can inspire others and bring encouragement where it is needed most.
When we hesitate to serve, thinking our contribution is too small, we forget that God values faithfulness over size. A single act of service can spark a ripple effect, encouraging others to serve as well. The more people actively contribute, the less reason there is for frustration or public complaint.
Why We Sometimes Point Fingers
Shifting responsibility is part of human nature. In Genesis 3, Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent. Jesus addressed this in Matthew 7:3–5, reminding us to examine ourselves before pointing out the faults of others.
In church life, social media complaints often arise from unrealistic expectations, low involvement, misunderstandings, or unresolved hurt. Complaints, gossip, or friction directed toward leadership are sometimes fueled by nominal Christians – those who speak confidently about the church but are not actively involved. It is easy to criticize when we are not engaged. But the church is not “they”; it is “we.”
When we remember this, our questions change. Instead of asking, “Why isn’t the pastor fixing this?” we ask, “What can I do to help?” This shift not only solves problems but also builds unity, strengthens relationships, and reflects a Christ-like way of living together.
Turning Criticism into Contribution
Criticism can either weaken or strengthen a church. Constructive feedback works best when it comes from a heart of love, humility, and genuine involvement. Proverbs 18:2 warns against speaking without understanding. Our words should be thoughtful, respectful, and rooted in care.
Before speaking – especially publicly – pause and ask: Have I prayed about this? Will my words build others up rather than discourage them? Can I offer a practical solution instead of just pointing out a problem? Is my heart humble and willing to listen as well as speak?
When feedback is offered with grace and a willingness to be part of the solution, it becomes a gift to the church. Instead of tearing down, it builds up. Instead of creating division, it strengthens unity. That is how criticism turns into contribution, and everyone benefits.
From Pointing Fingers to Offering Hands
A healthy church is not one without problems, but one where people face challenges together in love. This requires patience, prayer, participation, and peacemaking.
When we shift from pointing fingers to offering hands, the atmosphere changes. Our hands can serve by meeting practical needs, supporting the mission financially, praying for strength and guidance, comforting those who are hurting, and encouraging the weary.
Problems become opportunities for God’s love to shine. Complaints transform into action, and division becomes unity. Whether you are a committed member, a regular attender, or a newcomer, the church has a place for you. Membership is not about privilege – it is partnership: “This is my family. I’m all in.”
Social Media and the Responsibility of Members
In today’s digital world, social media provides a platform for instant expression – but with great power comes great responsibility. A single post criticizing a pastor or ministry can be read by hundreds, sometimes thousands, including outsiders who may never understand the full context. What starts as a minor complaint can escalate into widespread disunity.
Social media can also be a powerful tool for good. It can share encouragement, celebrate ministry successes, invite others to participate in service, and spread God’s love. But when it becomes the first outlet for criticism, it amplifies misunderstandings and undermines unity.
It is important to recognize that nominal Christians – those who speak confidently about the church but are not actively involved – often contribute to a culture of criticism. Their words, though persuasive, lack the foundation of engagement. By contrast, those who are actively involved in service, prayer, and leadership can provide constructive feedback rooted in experience and care.
Even though biblical principles remain constant, each local church faces a unique context. Congregations vary in size, resources, culture, and ministry focus. Understanding these differences is essential. Generalizing can lead to misjudgment or unrealistic expectations.
Conclusion
The church will never be perfect until Christ returns, but it can be healthy, united, and fruitful when every believer takes ownership of its life and mission.
The greatest privilege in the church is not the right to complain on social media – it is the opportunity to serve. When we embrace that, finger-pointing fades, unity grows, and the love of Christ becomes visible to the world.
We are not “they” and “us.” We are “we.” Together, by God’s grace, we can be the church God calls us to be – a church that listens, serves, encourages, and grows as one body, with every member contributing their gifts for His glory.
~ Meyu Changkiri
