A Heart-to-Heart Talk | Dr. Vikuosa Nienu

This is a heart-to-heart talk, not in secrecy but openly, and every Naga needs to know.  Nagas are known for their generosity and hospitality to guests, friends, and adversaries alike—the beauty and the spirit of sharing. Hospitality is their age-old tradition; the tradition continues to this day. I’m sure you all are doing your utmost for the coming holidays!

Equally, Nagas are known for their honesty and integrity. However, those qualities seem to be disappearing at an alarming rate.

I must share a few critical concerns with all the Nagas, regardless of age, education, or position. The message is for all the Nagas, wherever they live, in or outside of Nagaland.

Modern Nagas have acquired a taste for a few not-so-desirable aspects, including sharing, that is, spreading news without knowing the consequences of what is being shared—modern-style gossip.

Nothing was considered secret during pre-modern days, including headhunting raids, although surprise attacks were not uncommon. But anything related to headhunting was a community affair; thus, some critical aspects of its safety and security might be held secret. Regarding personal affairs, though, everything was open, and nothing was kept confidential; everybody knows everybody’s affairs, good or bad—rapid actions follow, allowing no room for telltale gossip. Ask any men or women considered “traditional,” usually 70 years old and older, and you’ll be surprised by the quality of life they enjoyed. Those are disappearing, if not already faded.

It appears modern Nagas have excelled at judging others.

Modern Nagas took a different turn on gossip; they made it as if it were a vital part of the modernization trend. Destroying or killing those you don’t like (jealousy), even without a cause, appears to be the dictum. Why worry about facts? The talk must keep going—spread the news. Like starving pigs at the trough feeding themselves voraciously, never mind what and where the meal came from. Similarly, for many Nagas, their love for juicy tales without caring for the facts about the whole story mayhave taken precedence, perhaps becoming somewhatof a mind-reader.

False accusations ruin lives and reputations.

Ask experts, and you will find countless incidences where innocent people have suffered for lack of foresight and prudence.

Words are powerful—and carelessness without giving thought has ruined lives.  There are countless lives, including high-profile personalities, throughout history whose lives were ruined by false rumors. Let’s look at what experts define “rumors” and “gossip”:

“Rumors are pieces of information or a story that has not been verified. This means the person telling the story does not know whether it is true. Most of the time, people who spread rumors do not bother to determine if there is any truth to what they are saying. Typically, rumors are spread from person to person and can change slightly each time they are told. As a result, they can become exaggerated and altered over time.”

“Gossip involves a juicy detail of some sort…personal…. Moreover, gossip is usually spread behind a person’s back and can be very hurtful. Gossip usually involves love, relationships, sex, and other issues people do not discuss publicly. Additionally, gossip almost always causes pain and humiliation for the person it is about. People share gossip without considering how it might impact the person it is about.”

[Source:www.very wellfamily.come/understanding-the-impact-of-rumors-and-gossip-460625]

Here are a few examples of how false accusations have ruined lives:

(a)   Recently, Thomas Kennedy was accused of rape by his daughter. He was sentenced to 15 years in prison. However, after nine years, his daughter and her boyfriend confessed that the evidence was all fabricated, releasing Thomas from prison.

(b)   Norma Wall, an Irish Catholic Nun, was wrongly accused of rape in 1999 and sentenced to life in prison. Careful investigations unveiled the allegations were made up; she was found innocent. Nevertheless, the pain that she had to endure remains.

(c)   Recently, a Texas police officer arrested a young woman for DUI (Driving Under the Influence). Her statement states that the officer told her that charges would be dropped if she performed sexual favors. However, the officer revealed a recorded arrest video contradicting her declarations, proving his innocence.

[Source (a)-(c): Caplan & Tamburino Law Firm, USA]

There are countless such episodes you can find for yourself.

Here’s an example from Nagaland: Back in 1955, a young boy was expelled from grade VI in front of the entire School Assembly because of a false report. The school authority never bothered to investigate the matter. The school head relayed the expulsion to the new school where he got admitted, expelling him again. The kid was not even asked if the accusations were true. Thirty-five years later, he stood before a crowd of about ten thousand gathered to hear a gospel message delivered in the same playground of his former school where the original false accusation was that he stolethe accuser’s money. Many knew his innocence but failed to speak up. He is the writer of this note, Dr. Vikuosa Nienu, and he is sharing it with you all.

False accusations like this have ruined countless people’s lives. You must have all the facts before sharing because someone’s life could be destroyed, intentionally or unintentionally. When you’re judging others, you must provide adequate proof. Do speak up openly if you have undisputed evidence; if not, why do you want to ruin other people’s lives?

I served as a Federal Grand Juror. Federal Jurors take oaths that we will be open-minded and fair, drawing conclusions based entirely on the integrity of the facts and not on our whims or prejudices. We carefully examine documents and the credibility of the witnesses, including officers presenting the evidence, sift through the testimony, and rigorously subject the evidence to prudence and rationality. The session must stop when a juror leaves even momentarily, say to go to the restroom/lavatory. We take our responsibilities seriously because someone’s life is at stake—not to mention separation from family and losing reputation, but the risk of prison for life.

You don’t have to be a Federal Grand Juror, but if you are judging someone without proper investigation, have you considered the consequences of your careless and thoughtless sharing?

Dr. Vikuosa Nienu