In a moving and courageous revelation, a Naga theologian has come forward to share his experience of surviving sexual abuse, drawing attention to a deeply underreported issue among men. After recently completing his Bachelor of Divinity from Serampore College, Kolkata, he is now preparing for further studies while coping with the emotional trauma aftermath of his ordeal.
“Sexual abuse happens to both men and women, but we rarely hear about men,” he tells MT, underlining the pervasive silence surrounding male victimhood. “I’ve met men who have endured similar horrors, but their stories remain hidden.”
He recounted a traumatic incident from 2016 when he was 23 that profoundly altered his life. “It was a night in April. I woke up to find my hands and legs tied, unable to defend myself. The perpetrator was someone I trusted deeply, someone I saw as a brother. The betrayal was devastating.”
This harrowing experience shattered his faith and trust. “That night, my dreams and ambitions crumbled. I felt my whole world collapse. It made me question why God would allow such a thing to happen. I even doubted God’s existence.”
The emotional toll has been immense, leading to depression, anxiety, and recurring trauma. Despite ongoing healing, the scars remain. “The incident made me skeptical of everyone, even my closest friends,” he admitted.
In an exclusive interview with MT, he shared more about his journey to healing and what inspired him to come forward.
“Since the incident, I became skeptical and distanced myself from God, but I should say that God has been so good to me. Even though such a thing happened to me, I developed some unconditional love in my mind whenever I went through depression and trauma. I started to read the Bible again, which made me feel really warm. I started praying, and it lightened me up.”
After six months, he began attending different church services, revivals etc.. He recounted a pivotal moment that inspired him: “I encountered a man, but before that, I read a book about a man being sexually assaulted by another man. After reading the book, it inspired me. I realized that even in other parts of the world, similar incidents happen. That realization helped me, inspiring me to use my incident as a tool to create awareness for the younger generation.”
He continued, “I started accepting my incident; I began to talk more, share my experiences, and attend congregations. In the process, I met a young man, much younger than me, who had gone through a similar incident where he was abused sexually by an elderly man. We both shared our stories, and I encouraged him. After encouraging him, I started feeling more comfortable and confident. That is how I began sharing my stories like on my friend’s YouTube channel and so on”.
When asked if he reached out to any individuals like family, siblings, or close friends, he revealed, “No. Only after I shared on social media, they came to know. After that, they comforted me, but by that time, I was already at a point where I was comfortable talking about it and had the courage. I had never shared before; I was very afraid to share and felt very ashamed of it.”
Addressing the social stigma that surrounds male sexual abuse, he said, “The social stigma is so high that we can’t even confide in our family, so forget about taking legal measures.”
As he continues to create awareness by sharing his stroy, he admits, he is still not healed. “I am still in the healing process and not completely healed. There are times like every time I come across articles or whenever I read newspaper headlines that say ‘rape,’ ‘molestation,’ or anything related, it creates tension and reflects back to the incident that happened to me. Sometimes, I even feel numb even though it has been quite a few years. It continues to be traumatic. I cannot say that I am completely healed.”
However, he believes, he has overcome the mental toll but without any therapy.
“I invested a lot in my hobbies like reading and cooking. I started to read a lot more books and got immersed in that particular world. I tried mingling with society. There were times I tried isolating myself, but the more I did it, the more it harmed me, so I tried socializing. Slowly, I felt joy in socializing. I did a lot of cooking, gardening, helping out my parents, and made sure that I was busy and not lazy. I started doing everything from household chores to washing clothes and dishes. I ran and exercised a lot, and slowly that’s how I overcame the trauma,” he shared.
When asked about changes he wished to see in society towards such incidents, he responded, “To be honest, we must help and reach out to the victims. Many times, we even mock the victim and feel like it is an abomination. Our society must help the victim because the victim goes through a lot behind the scenes. The perpetrators and the culprits must be dealt with by the law. Forgetting and forgiving should not be enough. Sex education is very important and must start within the family. It matters a lot. In schools, colleges, and other social gatherings, we tend to take sex education as taboo, but it is wrong. It is essential for both old and young.”
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