What if our natural style of communication is impairing our relationship? What if the way we naturally process information is doing more harm than good? As social beings, each individual plays diverse roles based on different life situations and is expected to act accordingly. Considering that, How do we speak to our spouse at home? How do we treat them in front of our friends / in-laws? Do we respect them considering their competencies and profession or maybe even for the status they hold? Or have we ever felt embarrassed before the society just because our partner said/ did something that dishonoured us?
Respectful communication is positive in every interaction. Think about how natural we felt to be kind to our partner when we first met. Have we slid into bad habits without even noticing? It is indeed true that the more we feel comfortable towards someone, the level of respect we have for that person gradually depreciates and hence, we fail to acknowledge them. Ironically, we’re unaware of it as we’re already engrossed in the habit loop and regard it as “Normal”. Consequently, it may be reasonably accustomed for us to speak/ act in a particular way, but the people around us may perhaps consider it as the “Odd one out”. Besides, as the “Usual” routine prolongs, in no time we become stressful, anxious, confused and frustrated, seeing evidence of each other’s flaws everywhere. This way, we don’t realise the main ground of the present issue as the cultivation of countless habits, which we have been practicing every single day habitually. We maybe together only for 2 years or even for 20 years, but respecting and addressing each other as “Husband” and “Wife” ,and not just in view of their names or as a person remains persistent, especially in front of our surroundings. The phrase “First impression is the last impression” also plays significant role in the way we respect our spouse, as we start regarding people based on the circumstances we first meet/ take notice of.
Our spouse is not our “Best friend”! They are our spouse! Let’s consider the initial stage of our affection towards them and the level of respect or appreciation we had for each other. Just like we have protocols for various professions, it’s encouraged not to feel totally at ease towards each other. By doing so, we instinctively stop doing the small things that keep our relationship in anticipation. Moreover, when there is no excitement in a relationship, there is no room to grow or develop the bond. We no more feel the need to do things that will excite them, or make mindful steps even in front of other people without realizing its impact on the relationship. Thus, love is not just an emotional need, but a conscious and practical decision. “When you become too comfortable in a relationship, you run the risk of not prioritizing the relationship” (Piper Grant).
Besides, why is family considered as the first educational institution? Respect starts within our home environment, in front of our children. They are the best observers. They learn from our every move as we talk to our spouse, to the way we even talk about them with our children or to anyone during their (spouse) absence. Do we want our children to long for marriage or experience nervousness whenever they envision about marriage?
Hence, we must treat respectful communication as a personal goal and put in the effort to achieve it. Moreover, choosing words thoughtfully help address underlying problems more effectively. Consider completing a sentence using the different expressions of “Could u please “and “Could u at least”; we will consequently comprehend the difference between a respectful and a rude communication. Accordingly, casual impolite interactions become gateways to larger ones!